The Life I Never Expected

It’s strange, but sometimes I sit back and look at my life and I think, Wow… this isn’t quite the way I pictured things turning out.

I’m definitely much older now. I’ve got a few more dings and dents, and let’s just say the gray hair has settled in and made itself right at home. The shine on my hood is a little duller than it once was, the paint’s a tad bit faded, and I certainly don’t get up to top speed the way I used to—but at least, the engine’s still running, and I guess that counts for something.

I remember when I was younger, I really thought I had everything lined up—I had youthful energy, a clear path in front of me, and dreams that actually felt real. I envisioned a stable future, with a nice home, a loving wife, and kids surrounding me with laughter—what more could I ask for? At the time, that was the image I had in my mind. That was the version of life I thought I was creating.

But unfortunately, life had other plans for me.

What I never expected was to meet someone who would derail everything I had been dreaming of. I definitely didn’t see the betrayal coming—or the lasting damage it would leave behind. And I certainly couldn’t have imagined that long after the relationship ended, that same person would keep showing up in my life like a bad penny—not physically, but through their actions, legal moves, and manipulations that would stretch across nearly two decades and halfway around the world.

Yeah, I said, two decades.

And yet, here I am—I’m still here. Still standing. Still writing, and still reflecting on this strange, unbelievably twisted path I’ve been forced to journey. In truth, it hasn’t always been easy. In fact, there were moments when I felt like giving up. But something inside me, just wouldn’t allow this to happen. Giving up would’ve meant surrendering, and I wasn’t about to hand over my story like that—at least not to my tormentor.

So, I kept on going.

I kept moving forward, one foot in front of the other, carrying the weight of the past while refusing to let it define who I am. I started applying the lessons I’d learned from the past—not just to survive emotionally, but rather to grow. And now, some people sometimes ask me: If you could go back in time and change something—anything—would you?

And the honest truth is— No. I wouldn’t.

Because changing the past would mean undoing the person I’ve evolved into. And you know what? I really like who I am today. I may be a bit weathered, but I’m grounded in who I am. I’ve even managed to add some depth, and empathy, and a way of connecting with people that I never had before in my earlier years. I know what mental and emotional pain feels like—real pain—and because of that, I can sit beside someone else’s suffering and not even flinch. I can listen to them with understanding and without judgment. I can now say, “You’re not alone,” and actually mean it.

You see, that’s what really matters to me.

And besides—if I were able to rewrite my past, it would mean erasing the most important parts of my story. And that is, I might never have had the chance to be in my daughter’s life. Or my stepson’s, for that matter. Even if things are distant and strained at this time, I can at least say, they still exist in my world. And that’s something I wouldn’t trade for anything.

So when you get right down to it —no, this isn’t the way I expected my life to turn out . It’s not even close. But the reality is, it’s all mine. And I’ve decided to own every part of it—scars, setbacks, grey hairs, and all.

David Shubert