Is It Time for Another Escape?

I’m not quite sure if the fatigue I’m feeling right now is from my recent move—hauling our furniture, toting heavy boxes, and dragging my emotional baggage from one city to the next—or if it’s just... ugh, my age catching up with me. But for some reason, usually around mid-afternoon each day, I’ve been feeling a sort of sluggish, rundown feeling that hits me. It’s not just physical exhaustion, but rather the kind of mental weariness that seems to settle in.

Understandably, you have all the usual culprits, like physical exertion, stress of moving, as well as the issue of age. But there’s another possibility I need to consider—something that’s been building up inside me for years.

I have to stop and wonder if the non-stop undercurrent of alienation isn’t catching up to me… again. After all, there’s the weight of all those long-ago memories. The what-ifs, but also the mental and emotional tolls that never really seem to clock out. It’s almost like these things are on autopilot, where they keep looping back around whether I’m conscious of them or not.

And lately I’m starting to ask myself a certain question: Is it time for another hiatus like I did before—you know, one of those much-needed breaks that we all need to take every so often in order to reset?

Maybe…

But perhaps what I really need isn’t just a simple break, but rather a full-blown change of scenery. A reset that’s somewhere far enough away from all the emotional noise, the mental congestion, and the ghosts that still linger in all the familiar places.

Oddly enough, while I was writing this Reflection, my mind actually started to drift away. I found myself walking along a quiet beach, with the sounds of the waves rolling towards the shore and a gentle breeze cooling me beneath the warmth of the midday sun.

Mmm, mmm, mmm—That sounds an awful lot like something I need right about now.

And for a brief moment, I was there. And I mean, really, there. I could see it. I could feel it, and I could even smell the air. But just as quickly as the teaser started… poof—the spell broke, and I was transported back into reality.

But here’s the thing about it—that place I just described? It’s actually real. I’ve been there before. It was about 10 years ago, I had the opportunity to live in Panama, Central America, for a couple of years—it’s a place that’s tucked between two oceans on either side, with a life that felt both grounded and free. And I can’t help but wonder if maybe the time has come for me to revisit that magical part of my life again.

Maybe it’d be a place to escape forever, or maybe not. Either way, it certainly wouldn’t be to run. Instead, it’d be to reset and recharge my internal batteries.

Because when your body feels weighted down and your mind feels scattered in a hundred different directions, sometimes the best medicine is a pause from what’s causing you to feel tired. Perhaps what you really need is a new rhythm or a slower pace. Maybe it’s just a softer place to land. Who knows—if I were to make it back down there, maybe I’ll reconnect with some of those friends I once knew, take my coffee outdoors, and keep writing these Reflections from a chair on the beach.

Considering everything we’ve been through, don’t you think we all deserve that kind of peace?

David Shubert