I Still Believe

No matter how many years I’ve been stuck in this world of alienation—it still surprises me that I’m still here, and somehow able to talk about it. In fact, I try to write these Reflections based on what I’ve personally felt and lived through, but in all honesty, they’re not just my story. They’re actually a mirror held up for every alienated parent and grandparent out there.

Because our alienators really did try everything they could to destroy us. Not just emotionally, but in every possible way—mentally, spiritually, and even within the families we built. They twisted the truth until it became unrecognizable, they rewrote the narrative to fit their own version of events, and then had the audacity to sit back and let the world applaud them for being “protective” or “loving.”

They even tried to break us with silence. With court orders. With outrageous lies told so often that even those who are closest to us began to question what was real and what was not. They took away birthdays, and holidays, and everyday moments that should have belonged to us and replaced them with nothingness. They turned our children’s minds into virtual battlegrounds and forced us into wars we never asked to fight in the first place.

And yet, through it all—I still believe.

I still believe in those treasured bonds that were once unbreakable. In the kind of love that simply can’t be erased by virtue of time, distance, or manipulation. I still believe in the natural laughter we once shared, in the quiet moments spent together, and in those pieces of myself that I was able to pass on—the ones that no alienator can ever take away.

I still believe that somewhere deep down, love does leave a trace. That even if my children don’t remember everything, there will always be a small part of them that will always carry the feeling of being loved by me. Maybe it’s buried under all of the layers of doubt or anger or even confusion—but I know in my heart, it’s still there. It’s just waiting to be found.

I still believe in showing up. Even during the times when it hurts the most. Even when it feels like no one even notices or cares. Because being a parent isn’t just about getting credit for the things others see you do—it’s about staying true to who you really are, no matter what they try to take from you.

I still believe in the power of healing. Not the kind that happens overnight per se, but rather the kind that slowly teaches you how to stand upright again. To breathe again. And to love again, even through the cracks they left behind.

Most of all, I still believe in my children. Whether they ever see me or not. Whether they speak to me again or not. I still believe that one day, the fog that surrounds them will clear. That the truth will somehow matter. That the love I gave, and continue to give, will rise above all the lies they were fed.

And if that day ever comes, I’ll be right here. Because no matter how much has been taken…

I still believe.

David Shubert